Intrinsic Belief in Exposition

Happy St. Patrick's Day?

2008-03-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

Did I wear green today? Obviously. I'm a turtle.

Did I celebrate St. Patrick's Day? Nope. Why you ask? I'm not Irish and don't plan on becoming Irish (although I am a huge Norte Dame Fan).

Do I have anything against my red headed brothers from across the pond? Absolutely not. I'm just not compelled to dress up in green for no specific reason.

Now if they had a German Scott English Turtle festival, you can count me in.

So for those of you who may feel inclined to pinch me, you might want to thank twice. Us German Scott English Turtles might do a little more than pinch you back. I'm just sayin.

Happy pi Day

2008-03-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

I looked all over today trying to find a good "Happy Pi Day" card but found nothing. If the bossman is reading this, I think we should shoot for a whole nother level of clientele --the top 1% of the country. Sure they only make up 1% of the country, but where are our astronauts, nuclear physists and listeners of NPR going to buy their cards? Right here baby! That's right. You know why? Because we speak their language.

Here's what I got so far?

(Outside of card we write)

Got pi?

Inside

Happy March 14

or maybe

pi r2? I thought pi were round! Happy 3.14 day!

Simply brilliant.

Time...It's Not On My Side

2008-03-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

I can't fully explain it but I feel like I lost an hour today. Ok, I'm not funny. I don't like change. I don't like to change my sleeping patterns, I don't like to change my eating patterns and I especially don't like to go messing around with my biological clock. No matter how much I try to prepare for this day, I will spend the next 3 weeks wondering if we are are on "new" time or "old" time.

I know the whole theory behind daylight savings time but I say this is one of the areas where the government has gone too far. Next thing you know, they'll be wanting to put floride in the water.

Tax Season

2008-03-01T17:44:00.000-08:00

I paid my taxes today. I keep looking out my window waiting for an IRS agent to bust down my door to kick me in the pants and call it a day.

Holy Cow! (Sorry Jean-Luc, no disrespect intended) Every year when I fill out my taxes I'm walk away from my calculator feeling more stupid than when I first begun. Could it be that I should have paid a little more attention in jr. high math class? Maybe.

Could it be that our tax code is so ridiculous that you have to an accountant to know all the ends and outs? Most definitely.

Could it be that we need another Boston Tea Party to remind the establishment that we are not above abusing beverages to show our angst in paying taxes? Probably not...but then again... hmmmm

The thought occurred to me that the IRS preys off the laziness of Americans. No, it really does. You actually have to work to get all the discounts and benefits of the tax law. They know that we Americans will generally take the path of least resistence and thus pay to have our taxes done by one of their cronies or pay through the nose.

I think I hear a knock at the door...

Could God Create a Rock...

2008-02-16T15:32:00.000-08:00

so big that even He couldn't pick it up? This is the question I got from the guy sitting next to me on my flight home.

When these words first left his mouth, I wanted to roll my eyes and pretend that I was a deaf mute. I was then surprised to hear this guy say one of the most profound things.

He said, "this is a conversation that I recently had with my mother who is suffering through the sunset years of Alzheimer's disease. After I asked my mother this, she went on to say, 'of couse He could. He's God...and then in the next moment, he could move it. He's God."'

I think this may be the best answer I have ever heard in my life. Sometimes I think we miss out on knowledge because

1) we pretend to be deaf mutes when people actually have something profound to say.
2) we ask the wrong questions
3) We limit God's abilities by our limited knowledge of Him.

The more I learn in my studies, the more I realize I need to learn.

The Writings of Jesus

2008-02-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have side-bar thoughts? Today in chapel, the speaker referenced the text where Jesus got up and read in the synagogue about how He was the fulfillment to Isaiah's prophecy.

The thought that I couldn't shake is the realization that Jesus was literate. I know this probably isn't much of an "aha moment" for most people but I still find it fascinating due to the fact that he decided to let someone else record his teachings.

I recognize that a witness is always a better person to record events that take place but just think how incredible it would be if Jesus would have penned a couple of letters in the first person (much like Paul).

I know there are some high brows out there who are going to point out how Jesus was the inspiration and author of the entire Bible. Fair point and you get an "A" for the day.

Like I said, I just had a side-bar thought that it would be pretty amazing if Jesus would have written some teachings to us with his own pen. I guess this is why I am still captivated by scripture day after day.

Overheard at the Office Part Deux

2008-02-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

"That's it, no one is leaving the office until we sell 100 more cards and raise

Living as an Extremist

2008-01-21T11:06:00.000-08:00

"The question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be... The nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists. "-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

When I first hear the word "extremist", I must admit that it carries a negative connotation. As a general rule, I'm not a person who thinks of himself through the lenses of extremism. Extremists are weirdo whack jobs who don't have a clue what this world is really about. They are the people who speak with unnerving passion about things that consumer their thoughts. They are the people who stir up conversations that make people uneasy. Extremists are so extreme, they are even willing to back up their language with action. They are sold out to their cause and can think of nothing else --they are extreme.

The more I think about it, I am convinced that our friends and neighbors are looking for extremists --people who are living to die for their beliefs while equally willing to live for them. As I contemplate Dr. King's words, I wonder, "Am I an extremist?" Would the people who view my life and actions see me as someone who has given everything I am for the cause of Christ?

If not, why not?

Sensitivity

2008-01-14T08:17:00.000-08:00

I almost got hit this morning by a lady who did not stop at the STOP sign. If the sign would have read, "Stop if you feel like it" she would have been golden.

Since I was frustrated by her lack of concern for her fellow creatures, I proceeded to honk at her. My girlfriend who was riding with me told me that I shouldn't do that to people and then she told me I should be more sensitive to other people's feelings. I then told her that she wouldn't know sensitivity if it jumped up and bit her in the rear.

Sacrifice

2007-12-28T07:36:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched Mel Gibsons' The Patriot. Contrary to popular opinion, this movie had nothing to do with Tom Brady or New England's attempt of having a perfect season. Who knew?

I must say that this movie had a profound impact upon me. As I reflected upon all that the main character gave up in order for the colonies to become an independent nation, I continued to reflect upon the concept of sacrifice. Mel Gibson's character sacrificed his life for the liberty of others. He lost 2 sons, his farm and his home. He would never see or experience the liberty from oppression that he gave his blood for.

What would I be willing to sacrifice one of my family members for? What would be important enough for me to quit my job and possibly forfeit all monetary gain? What would I lay my life down for?

It is easy to talk about sacrifice in the cush comforts of our homes sitting in front of a computer screen drinking a cup of coffee. What about when real opportunities come our way where we have to decide? What about when the call to the mission field beckens at my door? I wish I knew that I had the strength and moral character to make the right decision in faith.

Maybe one day, people around the world will be able to experience freedom that comes from Jesus Christ because I was willing to model the sacrifice my savior paid...or maybe I will just hide inside the comforts of my shell.

Rebel with a Cause...

2007-12-14T17:52:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite traditions each year is to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas special on CBS. Unfortunately, I missed it this year due to lack of attention on my part...or from watching too much of the Nature Channel. However, I did some research on this classic and found out that it almost didn't take place. The two producers of the show didn't think it would fly.

"We told Schulz, 'Look, you can't read from the Bible on network television,' " Mendelson says. "When we finished the show and watched it, Melendez and I looked at each other and I said, 'We've ruined Charlie Brown.' " http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2005-12-05-charlie-brown-christmas_x.htm

The irony for me is that Linus' words about the true meaning of Christmas is what makes the show so incredible. Even though this nugget of truth comes from an eight year old...and a cartoon at that, it's still truth. People recognize it, they know it to be true...but unfortunately too many people reject this truth for the lies this world has to offer.

As you celebrate this Christmas, remember to keep Jesus at the center of your celebrations...no matter how controversial it is.

Candy Coated

2007-12-06T14:31:00.000-08:00

Today I learned that just because there is a bunch of candy available to eat, maybe you shouldn't.

I don't know if you can be poisoned from eating too much chocolate, but I may be walking that line a littel too closely. I glanced at myself in the mirror on the way to the bathroom and I noticed a faint resemblance to a "M" starting to form on the back of my shell.

Then the proverbial question began to form, if my shell does turn into milk chocolate yummy goodness, will I have the will power not to eat it? On the upside, I would have a wonderful treat of yummy goodness. On the downside, I will be perpetually naked.

Hmmm.... It's not as easy as you might think. Stupid milk chocolate yummy goodness...

More Notes To Make Note Of

2007-11-29T11:44:00.000-08:00

Note #242 to self:

When your girlfriend brings up in an argument how you always forget major occassions like birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day, you might not want to fire back by saying, "Everyday is Valentine's Day with Me".

Yep, that might get you kicked in the ole shell.

Rent a Family

2007-11-24T08:34:00.000-08:00

I and some of my seminarian colleagues are starting a new business where we will come over to your house for the holidays and pretend to be your family. Yep, you heard me right. No more having to work on and developing relationships over the course of the year. No more wondering if you got the right kind of presents or if anyone will show up for the holidays. We will catch up with you, talk about "old times", give you updates on the kids and even cook you a big holiday meal...all for a small fee of course. Hey, what is family for?

We think this is going to be big. In our fast-food, instant messaging, immediate results society, this is the natural next step. We have 3 main packages:

1) Norman Rockwell package. For $800 we will come over for the holiday and give you the all-American holiday cheer.

2) The Dysfunctional family Package. For $500 we will come over with a lot of drama, attitude and even start a couple arguments about how grandma always liked you best. Low on price, high on good times.

3) The Partridge Family Package: For $1,400 we will come over to your home and sing as if your holiday were a musical.

Family members are going fast so you had better sign up quick. Children and gift wrapping are extra.

Simply brilliant.

Have yourself a turtle little Christmas

2007-11-19T20:19:00.001-08:00

Even though I am contractually obligated to plug the new Fattened Calf Christmas Card (see image of front), I have to say I like it.

Visit http://www.fattenedcalf.com/gear.html to purchase or view the new card. Due to timing issues it is only available online this year.

Are we not in silly land when we start calling Christmas Trees - "Family Trees" (Lowe's recent holiday catalog which they say was a proofing error - Ooops.)

When Prince changed his name, we at least got to use the "artist formally known as". Can we at least go with "Trees formerly known as Holiday trees, formally known as Christmas trees"?

This world keeps getting odder.

To be honest as I watch you human folk scuttle about on these holidays buying presents, so horribly busy and upset, I have to wonder if Christmas itself should be know as the holiday formally about the birth of Jesus...

Say it Anyway

2007-11-12T08:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you have to say you're sorry whether you mean it or not. It's good practice for the times when you really mean it.

But you can't be sarcastic or condesending when you say you are sorry. For example, I know this Beaver named Chuck who will be kind of a jerk when he apologizes. Chuck will apologize by saying something like, "I'm sorry you are a moron and can't understand the simplist of ideas. I'm sorry."

This is when I usually say, "I'm sorry that I'm going to punch your beard off." But I usually forget and take a nap.

Lunch Anyone?

2007-11-07T08:36:00.000-08:00

It's a little past 10 am and my stomach has started a royal rumble of discontent. Do I just suck it up and wait it out until 11 am and try to blend in with the early birds?

Or do I dare bust out my lunch at this unholy hour and risk throwing the universe into a free-falling conundrum?

What's next? First we start eating our lunches at 10, then we sneak it in at 9:30 and then the next thing you know, we are putting mustard on our breakfast burgers.

Must fight....temptation.....and not eat my delicious sandwich...

I am thankful the Lord didn't make my shell out of cashews. I would have dusted those suckers a long time ago.

Fear

2007-11-01T20:02:00.000-07:00

If you had no fear, what would you do for God?

No, seriously. If you didn't allow your fears or worries to drive your decisions, what would you attempt to do for God? What ideas would you pursue? What dreams would you chase with all of your might? What wrongs in this world would your try to correct?

I know I may be the smartest lilly on the pond but it seems to me that God didn't give us a spirit of timidity; but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline.

I don't think it is a coincidence that there are 365 references to fear in the Bible. I fully believe that God knew that we would need each one of these verses to help us make it to the next day.

That is how this turtle sees taking steps of faith. You just take that first step and then see what God does with it...and then you keep doing it until He tells us to stop.

Is following God's calling scary? Absolutely. I'm not going to candy coat that one at all. But its also the safest place one could ever be.

Office Wisdom

2007-10-31T07:36:00.000-07:00

Note to self: The next time you decide to talk bad about the boss, don't be leaning on the speaker phone button.

Super Hero Turtle

2007-10-27T21:45:00.000-07:00

Typically, I will begin to slip into slow depression until December 22 when the days start getting longer again. Perhaps it's a turtle thing or maybe since I have a job and can't hibernate, I'm a bit bitter.

I don't like darkness.

I assume God is paying more attention to the other side of the world when it's dark. Which, by the way, brings up an excellent question, does He still take Sunday's off? Seems like we could make an awful mess of things left to ourselves for even one day.

Chik-fil-A and Hobby Lobby give there employees Sunday off. What about the angels?

I'll be honest - I'd prefer all of Heaven is doing shift work and continuously keeping watch over my area.

Back to the main topic and why my melancholy has slowed. I have always thought I'd should be able to move small objects with my mind. I have also always thought it was a crazy thought.

Tonight I met someone who lives under the same assumption. We tried moving a glass together to no avail. Honestly, it seems as though if we found one more person with the this odd delusion, we'd be able to have a real go at it.

My prediction is that God, in his glorious sense of humor, will move something when I'm all alone and can't prove it to anyone.

I know it sounds crazy but I thought it appropriate to share ( I am fully able to admit perhaps the aluminum in my anti-perspirant is causing me to lose my mind)

Wait. Did your mouse just move on its own? That was me...

Fallen Cliffs and Fallen Egyptians

2007-10-16T22:09:00.000-07:00

The History Channel ran a special about the plagues of Egypt in biblical times. Read the biblical history here.

I had always known the Bible's historical and archaeological accuracy was incredible, but the History Channel brought this turtle to a new sense of amazement.

First, I did not know there was solid evidence of the Israelites coming to Egypt, of Joseph being a Hebrew with the Egyptian royal power as described in the Bible, as well as evidence of the plagues and the Exodus.

In fact they even found the Pharaoh they believe to be the father of the Pharaoh Moses dealt with. An artifact had writings about the "one true God" of the Hebrews that smited Egypt with the plagues.

The fun part was when they decided to show how the plagues could have been caused by natural events. The picture above is of Santorini, one of the most beautiful islands in Greece. The sheer cliffs that you see are due to an earthquake so violent that part of the island literally slid into the sea. This played a major role in the plagues of Egypt.

I won't hit the details but suffice it to say, that the History channel had "ideas" on how all the plagues could be caused. The interesting part to me is how some scientists/scholars give great credence to the history of the Bible...except of course the God part. Imaging the coincidence that would have had to occur for the Bible history to be true (which they proved) without God being involved?

Bottom line - if you are struggling with God and His existence, know that he does leave his mark - sometimes it small and barely noticeable, other times, well, it's as giant as the cliffs on an island.

Thanks, History Channel people.

Swimming in the Shallow Water with Britney

2007-10-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

Twice this morning, I have created the most wondrously thoughtful discussions for today's blog. Twice now, they have been accidentally deleted and as if to help me, the autosave feature was amazingly quick to save a blank screen over my hearts work.

Deep thoughts are not meant to be this morning.

Therefore I am rebelling and posting a pretty picture from a swim in a quaint harbor in Crete (I carry a 5MP camera in my shell - it's watertight) AND adding the top three things you may not have thought of concerning Britney Spears:

3. If she were in major league baseball instead of pop music, she would most likely be on steroids instead of illicit drugs which would make her look just as bulky as she is now, BUT she would still have custody of her kids.

2. If she was born a little earlier and gotten to John Lennon before Yoko Ono, the Beatles could still be together. This is based on Britney's desires for children and home life and general more sociable era than Yoko. She may have not found the other Beatles so threatening and let John be the Beatle he was meant to be. If you are unaware who John Lennon (no, he's not from Russia) and the Beatles are, just know that Michael Jackson at one time owned their music until he had to sell much of it off due to ...issues.

and the number one thing you probably hadn't thought of...

1. God loves Britney just as much as you or Billy Graham or even this little turtle and somehow she need to learn about what He did for her.

Sorry couldn't go the whole blog without getting a little deep...just a tad.

The Turtle and the Honda

2007-10-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

To borrow from one of my favorite historical tales where a tortoise outraces a hare by making steady progress, I fully believe this is possible in my home town.

On the way out of (or into town depending on your perspective) our nice, peaceful city has added 438 stoplights (if you'll allow a bit of hyperbole). I believe my little tortoise legs could now outpace a car - any car.

I believe the stoplights are about 10 feet apart so you can fit one of those GEO Metros in between them. Are they timed - you might ask? Yes, by Satan himself, allowing you to reach each stop light just in time to watch the yellow fade.

I typically walk everywhere so I'm not bothered, but if you ordered Fattened Calf Greeting Cards during our new "99 cent shipping" promotion and you're wondering where they're at...most likely they are waiting in between stoplights 235 and 241.

Anyone up for a race?

Turtle Tears

2007-10-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

I am finding that "Free Speech" is a one sided coin. So often when someone wishes to demonstrate their ability to be vulgar or shocking, we hear these claims of the first amendment. Yet those that oppose obscenity and vulgarity in the public domain are told their views are intolerant and should be squashed. (Being a smaller turtle, I am somewhat sensitive to the word "squashed")

It seems you are allowed a voice only if it is in agreement with the people professing their obscenity is free speech.

I'm sure this is a quote from someone but if not please add this as a quote from Eugene Turtle, esquire. "Freedom without responsibility will destroy a nation."

I am sad to announce that America seems to have lost the concept of responsibility (except to ones own desires). This means we no longer care whether our freedom hurts others (especially children) because our own rights outweigh the good of society.

We can no longer get back to a nation living and dying for common goals because each persons goal is now much more important than the country itself. Our only chance is the hearts of people to change and think of others before themselves. (I'm sure that it someone else's quote.)

As for now, those exposing their rights to vulgar free speech would many times say that their ability to show obscenity to the public (and even children) IS what makes America great.

Sometimes I think freedom cries in our misinterpretation of its glory. Tonight this turtle will shed a tear as well...

A Turtle with a Lisp

2007-10-01T14:45:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile, but I blame it on the pain. If you're familiar with the digestive system of the turtle, you're aware of the dangers of infections of the salivary glands.

I have such an infection. Were I not to have the strength of ten normal turtles, I may have passed on long ago.

For awhile, I fought with all I had to resist the pain of my swollen gland and tongue. I acted normal, but for the new lisp from the pain in my tongue. Here's what I observed, I can be mean. I am really a sweetheart of a turtle, but the pain made me quick to anger at people. I snapped at Ginger, at my boss, I was miserable.

For some reason, it was much easier to make others miserable as well. And you can only imaging the jokes when your a turtle and snapping at people...

Alas I finally succumbed to the pain and asked my Doc for something to help. He handed me a piece of paper with scribbles on it and after a trip to the pharmacy, I was back in shape. Not only was the pain gone, but I felt great. (Perhaps the doc forgot to reduce the dosage for a turtle's body size.)

Here's what concerns me. I had this overwhelming desire to encourage and help people.

Is that why we Americans are sometimes so mean? Is it the pain? I thought statistics showed as as heavily medicated so why aren't we nicer in general?

I want to know what normal is. In normal life without medication and without pain what are we like. Perhaps this goes back to the question of whether we are inherently good or evil.

Or perhaps it won't matter once the medication fades away.

Walk Quickly

2007-08-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

While wandering through the largest gorge in Europe the other day, I stumbled upon a strange sign. There were falling rocks that could apparently cause a cessation to your life so the sign said, "Walk quickly"

Not turn around. Not wear a helmet, but just move faster.

BEGIN SERMON:
We seem to do that too when we know we're getting close to doing something we shouldn't do. Instead of running away from the evil, we just do it quicker. We don't think about the danger or evil because thinking might make us change our mind. We think the fun of walking under the falling rocks will outweigh whatever consequences there are. Or we think there is no consequence for our sin.

My shell kept me safe from the rocks, but there isn't a shell that will keep us from upsetting God with our sin. Turn around! Run! (It's actually amusing to think about a turtle yelling "run".) Sin is never worth it in the long run.

The sermon brought to you by Fattened Calf where the Greeting Cards can lighten your mood after such a serious are never as serious as Eugene is...

Landing the Rocket

2007-08-16T18:55:00.000-07:00

Was playing Nintendo Super Monkey Ball for the Wii today. (Which is quite a trick without opposable thumbs, thank you very much). There's a game in there where you land a rocket ship on a target. You're granted a thruster with limited fuel that keeps you in the air and helps you gently land the craft. The closest to the center wins.

It reminded me of life with the center target being total and pure contentment. In the game I spent most of my time thrusting this way and that overshooting the target and then having to thrust the other way and overshooting again.

For starters, lets begin with the goal - to bring a smile to God's face. This means doing what God wants you to do. BUT sometimes I try too hard and end up working and working on stuff and not just listening and talking with Him. But God gifts us to help others not just sit on our shells and pray. So finding the balance is the trick.

And sometimes just letting go. I wonder if we plan so much that there's no room left in the plan for His plan. Perhaps we should take a break from all our ministries and wake up each morning (not just Sunday) and ask God what we can do for Him today. Ministry is suddenly simpler if it's day by day. Send an anonymous money order to someone in need. Encourage someone with words or a card. Then go to bed and see what He says tomorrow.

Just a thought. By the way, I got beat by a ten year old - I landed my rocket on its side.

Turtle Ramblings

2007-08-10T07:51:00.000-07:00

I feel unsettled.

Don't you hate that. It's as if something is undone but you don't know what it is. It's not guilt. Not like there's an emergency, but definately not contentment. Whenever I get like like this, my back right leg keeps nervously going in and out of my shell.

Perhaps it's classes starting again. Can I tell you a horrid thing - sometimes when you study the Bible academically, you lose sight of its power. it becomes another textbook. If you are or ever have been a student, you know what a bad word "textbook" is.

Perhaps its my current narrating job at the company. I know I will be doing more in future cards (in fact I think I'm dressing up like a sheep in the upcoming Christmas card), but there's more for me to do in this life. Maybe there's a big change coming.

Maybe I'm suffering from just being in the place so many of us are - "God, what should I be doing?" Meanwhile no answer seems to come...yet.

Before you start emailing me that the Bible tells you what you should be doing - that's too simplistic of an answer for what I'm talking about. I'm looking for specifics.

Unsettled and rambling. I think it's too early to be blogging...

Omnipotent Accountants

2007-08-02T19:58:00.000-07:00

We had a card signing today where some fans wanted us to sign autographs on cards. For some reason, Reginald was the most popular table of the Fattened Calf Staff. He's only on one card and it's sort of a bit part, yet he always had a line (mostly female) waiting to sign the only card he's on. I don't even think he's blogging.

Mind you, I'm not jealous, I'm merely curious about human behavior. Most of the staff chalks it up to his English accent (I think he's leaning it more toward Australian at the moment.)

What about a foreign accent makes you people go crazy. If you can do a good accent, go some places where people don't know you and just observe how they change. (Obviously this may not work in a large city where foreign tourists are typical) I think most of us live in our own little world in America and change shakes our shells (literally for us turtles and metaphorically for you mammals).

Anyway, speaking of observing behavior, I had a fascinating conversation at the signing. In talking to a gentleman about whether he believed in God, I was told "not really, I'm more into karma."

I know your not "supposed" to talk about religion or politics, but this was a Christian store and frankly we animals don't have the same hangups you folks do. In fact almost all animals (except for cats) don't have the human feelings of self importance and have no issues being servants of a Creator.

But, let me get down off the top off my preaching shell and get back to the conversation. First, let's remember Heaven and Hell lay in the balance of this question of whether God exists. Should you really answer "not really"? I mean I can understand being sure either way or at least being on the road to figuring it out , BUT "not really" seems a bit noncommittal when the stakes are so high.

If I'm in a plane and the pilot asks if I will want a parachute in the event of an emergency, I don't think I'm going with "maybe" or the obligatory "whatever."

Moving on, I asked him about why he believes in karma. He says he's experienced it. So then I had to ask who determines that what you've done is good enough for it to come around for you or even how much good should come around?

"It's just the natural order of things" (I supposed this was better than saying "Mother Nature")

"But doesn't there at least need to be some being or a team of accountants adding and subtracting good and bad? And if you really believe in karma and it's byproduct of reincarnation who decides what you come back as?"

"Well, I haven't really thought..."

"See for you to believe in something like that there must be an all-powerful being in charge of it. Which begs the question, shouldn't you figure out what what this all-powerful being has to say to you?" Luckily the Christian store had a Bible handy which I must say was quite dramatic at the moment I handed it to him.

There are of course alternatives. There could be a team of all-powerful accountants. Lord help us.

Will my girlfriend like Behe?

2007-07-31T19:47:00.001-07:00

One blog every month seems a bit uninspiring as I hope to one day be published. However, if you're one into stereotypes and fond of the children's story which puts a turtle in a race with a troublesome hare, then it seems to me you would feel I'm right on schedule.

I've been reading a book called Darwin's Black Box by Michael Behe. It's an older book but much like some movie theaters not getting first run movies, the turtle libraries don't get books for a bit.

It amazes me how well this book has stood up to criticism. Don't get me wrong, I think the irreducibly complex argument is an excellent one against the Darwin religion, but responmses to Behe's arguments have been barely lucid and it is not atypical for there to be name calling toward Behe.

Very odd.

It seems even in the academic and scientific community, many have lost the ability for intellectual discussion without anger or emotion when Darwin is challenged.

Perhaps this will help Darwinists to understand the emotions Christians feel when their religion is attacked.

But enough about us turtles eventually becoming birds, I've been talking with Jean-Luc about my career in future cards. While I appreciate my narrator role in the cards, I'm hoping to play more of a lead actor role in the future. I was quite encouraged to hear that the next set of cards are being worked on and I may actually have a girlfriend in one of the cards.

This should give great hope to those of you in thick glasses named Eugene out there!

A Name By Any Other Name is an Environmental Influence

2007-06-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

First, my name is Eugene. Please note this is not my fault - I was named after my grandfather who is quite famous as he met Charles Darwin on the Galapagos Islands. I am Eugene the III which has guaranteed a future without dates and large glasses. Thus far both prophesies
have held solid.

Which brings me to my future career. Based on my name and the seriousness with which I study, I plan to be a lifelong student and hope to eventually teach something I've learned take the summer off. What other choice do you have with a name like Eugene?

Funny thing, names, and perhaps a call to research I might gain government funding for. My thoughts:

Bob - usually over 225 lbs.
Charles - wealthy, but annoying (different from Charlie)
Sarah - shy
Tammy - not shy
Mary - after Jesus' mom, has there been any excitement in a Mary's life?

The question seems worth a hypothesis. As my grandpa used to say, "Just keep talking - eventually something will stick. Look at Darwin." Grandpa is still waiting to evolve into a bird. He'd love to fly.