Rent a Family

I and some of my seminarian colleagues are starting a new business where we will come over to your house for the holidays and pretend to be your family. Yep, you heard me right. No more having to work on and developing relationships over the course of the year. No more wondering if you got the right kind of presents or if anyone will show up for the holidays. We will catch up with you, talk about "old times", give you updates on the kids and even cook you a big holiday meal...all for a small fee of course. Hey, what is family for?

We think this is going to be big. In our fast-food, instant messaging, immediate results society, this is the natural next step. We have 3 main packages:

1) Norman Rockwell package. For $800 we will come over for the holiday and give you the all-American holiday cheer.

2) The Dysfunctional family Package. For $500 we will come over with a lot of drama, attitude and even start a couple arguments about how grandma always liked you best. Low on price, high on good times.

3) The Partridge Family Package: For $1,400 we will come over to your home and sing as if your holiday were a musical.

Family members are going fast so you had better sign up quick. Children and gift wrapping are extra.

Simply brilliant.