Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day?

Did I wear green today? Obviously. I'm a turtle.

Did I celebrate St. Patrick's Day? Nope. Why you ask? I'm not Irish and don't plan on becoming Irish (although I am a huge Norte Dame Fan).

Do I have anything against my red headed brothers from across the pond? Absolutely not. I'm just not compelled to dress up in green for no specific reason.

Now if they had a German Scott English Turtle festival, you can count me in.

So for those of you who may feel inclined to pinch me, you might want to thank twice. Us German Scott English Turtles might do a little more than pinch you back. I'm just sayin.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Happy pi Day

I looked all over today trying to find a good "Happy Pi Day" card but found nothing. If the bossman is reading this, I think we should shoot for a whole nother level of clientele --the top 1% of the country. Sure they only make up 1% of the country, but where are our astronauts, nuclear physists and listeners of NPR going to buy their cards? Right here baby! That's right. You know why? Because we speak their language.
Here's what I got so far?
(Outside of card we write)
Got pi?
Inside
Happy March 14
or maybe
pi r2? I thought pi were round! Happy 3.14 day!
Simply brilliant.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Time...It's Not On My Side

I can't fully explain it but I feel like I lost an hour today. Ok, I'm not funny. I don't like change. I don't like to change my sleeping patterns, I don't like to change my eating patterns and I especially don't like to go messing around with my biological clock. No matter how much I try to prepare for this day, I will spend the next 3 weeks wondering if we are are on "new" time or "old" time.

I know the whole theory behind daylight savings time but I say this is one of the areas where the government has gone too far. Next thing you know, they'll be wanting to put floride in the water.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Tax Season

I paid my taxes today. I keep looking out my window waiting for an IRS agent to bust down my door to kick me in the pants and call it a day.

Holy Cow! (Sorry Jean-Luc, no disrespect intended) Every year when I fill out my taxes I'm walk away from my calculator feeling more stupid than when I first begun. Could it be that I should have paid a little more attention in jr. high math class? Maybe.

Could it be that our tax code is so ridiculous that you have to an accountant to know all the ends and outs? Most definitely.

Could it be that we need another Boston Tea Party to remind the establishment that we are not above abusing beverages to show our angst in paying taxes? Probably not...but then again... hmmmm

The thought occurred to me that the IRS preys off the laziness of Americans. No, it really does. You actually have to work to get all the discounts and benefits of the tax law. They know that we Americans will generally take the path of least resistence and thus pay to have our taxes done by one of their cronies or pay through the nose.

I think I hear a knock at the door...